Although I seldom journey into the bottomless pit of gossip concerning celebrity plastic surgery, now comes a news article out of the UK in which pop star Madonna claims to want to spend $200,000 on plastic surgery. Although the news report was debunked the following day, it always did sound like either a fabrication or a misquote. Madonna has been one of the “smartest” users of plastic surgery ever. She and her surgeon have done an excellent job of keeping the aging pop star looking, if one could imagine such a thing, increasingly younger-looking with each “revision.”
In his always interesting blog, plastic surgeon (and PSP editorial advisory board member) Anthony Youn, MD, actually sat down and tried to justify that amount of plastic surgery and what Madonna might have to purchase in order to reach that figure. Youn’s breakdown goes way out on a hilarious limb and proves without a doubt that so much plastic would turn Madonna into something resembling Wayland Flowers’ “Madame” puppet (see photo).
So what do you think Madonna can have that would add up to $200,000? Let’s fancy a guess:
1. Revision Facelift: $10,000
2. Facial Fat Grafting: $5000
3. Fractional Laser Treatments: $4000
4. Breast implant revision: $10,000
5. Body skin tightening treatments, such as the Cutera Titan: $4000
6. Spider vein treatments: $2000
7. Botox: $500
8. Filler injections like Perlane: $1000
Wow. We’re only at $36,000. What else can she possibly consider? Now we get into the weird and completely unnecessary stuff: 9. Endoscopic browlift: $8000. 10. Revision blepharoplasty: $5000. 11. Laser liposuction to sweat glands of the armpits: $5000. 12. Hand plumping injections: $4000. 13. Batwing reduction: $10,000. 14. Mini tummy tuck: $7000. 15. Designer laser vaginoplasty (yes, some docs actually call it that!): $7000? (My wild guess). 16. Fat injections to buttocks: $10,000. 17. Full body laser hair removal: $8000.
All of this only adds up to $100,000. To get to $200,000, I guess we’ll have to add some really crazy things like: 18: Rib removal to thin the torso: $20,000. 19. Leg breaking and lengthening to add an inch of height (we get shorter as we age, you know): $30,000. 20. Second Toe Shortening: $10,000. And a few minor ones: 21. Restylane injections to the feet to help with high heels: $2000. 22. Earlobe shortening: $1000. 23. Injections of her own plasma to her face: $4000. and finally the most bizarre: 24. Creation of wings: $33,000+. TOTAL: $200,000.